I say what I mean and mean what I say


01b9e6b718bd1ab45c705e7a06909afbPrincess Diana’s death had an impact on me and I can remember it as if it just happened yesterday.  I didn’t know her personally, but my heart did.  I think anyone who made the decision, long ago, to live their lives open and without regret were kindred spirits with her.

I truly believe that those of us who are easy going and laid back are the ones who suffer more than others.  We take so much onto ourselves and feel as if we’re to blame for it (even when we’ve nothing to do with what’s being heaped upon us).

I’ve gotten much better – as of late – with realising it’s not always me.  I might bring some things upon myself, but what I’ve allowed others to pile on me for years has nothing to do with me and everything to do with their selfishness, unhappiness and fear.

The best part of therapy is knowing I can say whatever I want to say and that there isn’t judgement.  It’s a forum for me to say what I need to say — and one thing I know about myself is that I say what I mean and mean what I say.  You might think that’s one in the same, but it’s not – think about it and it will make sense if you’re not understanding it right now.

I’m glad that they caught the two men responsible for the Boston Marathon bombings — well, caught one of them, anyway.  I have no compassion for people who deliberately plan and carry out attacks meant to murder innocent people.  Death for these people isn’t good enough. Period.

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And now, America is once again faced with another Islamic attack – radical or not — these hate attacks keep coming from the same religious group.  It seems to me that if these radicals are the minority — why aren’t the majority standing up to denounce them?  I’ve asked that question since 9-11 and yet, we hear very little from the majority — some speak up, but those remain the minority of the majority.

As my grandfather said long ago, “He who is silent is understood to consent.”  So, will the Islam majority speak up or will they remain silent?  So far, the majority have consented to every attack around the world murdering innocent people all in the name of Allah and let’s be clear: HATRED.

My faith has been hijacked for years, but I speak out daily against the ultra-right evangelicals who claim they have the right to judge people in the name of God.

I’ve had little-to-no-time to interact with TiVO … I’m sure I have a bajillion (not really – it just sounds cool) shows to watch!  I think I’ll be doing a lot of that today and tomorrow … since I plan on doing absolutely nothing – other than my basic chores that need to be done. 🙂  I’m into Golden Boy now … it’s a pretty good show and of course, The Graham Norton Show is back … and let’s not forget Elementary … and well, I could prolly ramble on and on, but I’m not going to do so!

Here’s to a great weekend … I’m sure I’ll have something to say later! 🙂

Love is the answer,

Bryce

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Aye, get oan wae it already …


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Sometimes that’s what you have to do … shut up and get on with it. Part of being unhappy is allowing someone, something or some place to drive you to utter despair.  That’s the bottom line.

A lot of my close friends are truly amazed (and even a few inspired enough to go to therapy) because of my ‘back to being Bryce’ on a regular, full-time basis … so, if we were at a pub, I’d say, “Therapy all around!” 🙂

I am doing much better and I’m really doing my best — and being pretty successful — at not getting bogged down in negativity — in my professional or personal life.

Because it’s been a long day … enjoy some of my favourite quotes and songs I love …

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Here’s to a great rest of the week …

xoxo –

Bryce

 

 

 

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a familiar crossroad


Life is always full of its little twists and traps at every turn.

And for many of us who’ve lost our way from our own happiness – find ourselves wrangled by those twists and traps at every turn.

The trick to finding your way back is to realise that there are and will be bad days during the journey back — and know that those trials are what make you stronger in the end.

If you’ve been reading my blog, you know that I’m open about my journey back to my own happiness jumpstarted by therapy.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again … therapy is a good thing because a therapist simply provides you with the map and pushes you on your way toward your goal.

I’ve had some of those twists and turns as of late … I get so frustrated when I allow myself be drawn into those twists and turns and then, after contemplation, I realise that I’ll never truly escape those twists and turns; however, I can learn how to walk straight through them and allow them to have little-to-no effect or impact upon my life.

And now, the Seminoles find themselves at a familiar crossroad.  Having lost a game that they should have handily won, the Noles must choose if the free fall ends today or if it continues as it did last year.  Obviously, I was upset – and still am – about how Jimbo Fisher called the last series of plays against NC State last week.  And without fail, he continued to do what he always does when questioned about his play calling: defer and deflect:

“Every play was right there,” Fisher said. “Does throwing it make you more aggressive? Or does running it when you’re moving the ball and you had been averaging eight yards a carry on a [particular] play? So, hindsights’s all 2o/20. But I don’t regret any of the calls. We didn’t execute some of the things that we did, and we’ve just got to play better.” – Coley Harvey, Orlando Sentinel

Actually, Jimbo … you’ve got to get better with knowing when something isn’t working and do the opposite.  With 2.47 left to go in the game, FSU got the ball back from NC State after the ‘D’ stood their ground against the NC State ‘O’ and this is how it played out:

1st and 10 at FSU 32        Chris Thompson rush for a loss of 2 yards to FSU 30

2nd and 12 at FSU 30      Chris Thompson rush for 3 yards to FSU 33

3rd and 9 at FSU 33         EJ Manuel rush for no gain to FSU 33

4th and 9 at FSU 33         Punt for 10 yards, out at FSU 43.

And then, NC State drove 43 yards and scored the winning touchdown leaving :16 on the clock.

What, exactly, does Jimbo Fisher mean when he says he doesn’t “regret any of the calls”?  Was he actually at the game?  There was little to no running game in the second half and the only time things seemed to be on track … EJ Manuel was throwing the ball.  Anyone, yes – ANYONE – knows that to close out a game with 2.47 left on the clock means you have to have 1st downs … not just one or two, but probably three — and by gaining that many 1st downs — there would have been at least a field goal or possibly a touchdown to seal the deal.

It’s not just me – this devout Seminole fan that’s still angry, but a great number of other boosters and I’m praying and hoping the entire FSU football team.  At this juncture in the season, Mr Fisher has nothing left but to open up his playbook and use whatever he’s got to win out the season to redeem this unacceptable loss.

No offense to NC State or their fans, but that game was handed to you by a lackluster FSU offense and a less-than-stellar defensive line.  There’s no Coach Bowden to refer to in this case Jimbo … he’s not there anymore.  It’s time to make your move and here’s to hoping that you sideline your ego and lack of responsbility for your players.

And so, my dear FSU … what’s it going to be this time?  A win? A loss? Or a statement that you will NOT be defined by one loss this season?  I’m hoping for the later and here’s some advice that I think might be helpful …

Not matter what, I’m a Seminole – I bleed Garnet & Gold, I tomahawk and do the war chant because that’s what we do!

So, last week was a very long week — lots of things that had to be done and it’s all over.  The problem?  The stress literally held me together and once things de-stressed, my body – as usual – collapsed into a frenzy of sinus drainage, congestion and allergy-related nonsense.  Those of you who have sinus and allergy issues know that it’s just like being sick only more annoying because you know it’s not the flu or bronchitus.  So, in an effort to stay well, I’ve cut myself off from the outside world and all dairy products — which, if you didn’t know, ramp up mucus production and well, that leads to congestion and well, yeah. 😛

I did watch my programmes, but I’m not going to talk about any of that today because … now, it’s time to watch college football for the rest of the day, suck on cough drops, drink “plenty” of fluids and enjoy the rest of my weekend. 🙂  Here’s to a great weekend for you and yours as well!

Peace,

knocking it out of the ball park


When you’re on the road back to happiness … you can certainly learn a lot about yourself – if you allow yourself to do so! 🙂  I’ve always been fairly tolerant, patient and well, a whole list of things one might expect of themselves.  And for the record, that’s not me saying that — it’s my core group of friends who say that to me here and there.

More and more, I’m hearing them tell me that the “old Bryce” is back.  Of course, who is the “old Bryce” I ask them.  And for this, they had a list yesterday whilst we tailgated before the FSU-Clemson game:

  1. You’re laid back again … thank God!
  2. Silly, silly, silly … it’s the best part about you!
  3. Laughing more than you have in a long time!
  4. Eyes are peaceful.
  5. You’re singing again and it’s awesome to hear you sing.
  6. I don’t dread seeing you. :::WOW::: [honesty is always a hard medicine to swallow]
  7. Giggles, giggles and more giggles.
  8. Spontaneous and not so uptight.

Sometimes, your friends are the best therapy and well, therapists out there.  I guess #6 caught me off guard, but I get it.  When you’re miserable — well, your good friends know it and they can sense it.

Even if your trying to fake it through a smile and laughter — apparently, the eyes are the dead give away that things aren’t all they appear to be.  It’s always nice to know that people recognise what you’ve been working on and that you’re knocking it out of the ball park. 🙂  And so the journey continues …

“I face the day again.  Against the window pane. I remain your closest friend and wish you back again.  But still the days drag on.  Why did you decide to go?  Did you only need to see what only time can show?   I’ll be waiting. I may be young or old and gray … counting the days.  But I’ll be waiting and when I finally see you come, I’ll run when I see you …” – Amy Grant, The Prodigal

So, there was this game in Tallahassee yesterday.  Holy cow, FSU is seemingly on the road back to being the ‘old FSU’ … and I have to say, I’m loving the maturity of the entire FSU football team … from the coaches to the players.

This year, there isn’t this one-track mind of the National Championship – instead it’s a ‘one game at a time’ mentality and that, for the record, brings about the best FOCUS!! 🙂  And I must say that it was nice to see Doak Campbell packed beyond capacity for the game. I can only imagine that the team completely feed off the energy of the crowd from start to finish.

I never doubted that we wouldn’t win the game, but I’ll just say that I’ve no fingernails left (I tear them off — no biting) because I “ripped” the ends of them off during the entire first half.  I was anxious beyond words, but knew the game wasn’t out of reach so long as the original plan wasn’t abandoned.

My friend Jeff and I were talking about how Chad Morris, Clemson’s offensive coordinator,  would eventually run out of different looks for Florida State’s defensive line.  And that breakdown occurred in the early part of the 3rd Quarter.  And Mark Stoops, stepped it up after the half.

I think we saw EJ Manuel grow up a lot during the second half of the game and of course, I think a confidence — not arrogance — has been vested now by the entire coaching staff and the team.  I truly am excited about what the future – beyond this season – holds for FSU! 😉

Needless to say, once EJ & Co. got rolling, the Seminoles … well,  five touchdowns later, with 0:00 and FSU 49  Clemson 37  blaring on the scoreboard …  the fireworks whizzed high above Doak Campbell and the Marching Chiefs went ‘crazy’ with the War Chant!  And if you’ve yet to figure it out … this ‘boy’ bleeds Garnet & Gold, baby!

The next three weeks are going to be absolutely, undeniably insane and although I don’t think I’m ready for everything that’s going to happen (not that any of it is bad, mind you!)  … I know that it’ll all be okay because a higher power sustains me! 🙂

And with that being said, it’s time for me to get myself on task before my night completely slips away!

Hope everyone has a great, great week …

Shalom,

You wanna dance? Bring it.


Therapy is a good thing.  I think during the tough times it’s what keeps me level-headed.  No, I’m not violent by any stretch of the imagination; however, I can go from nice to DEFCON 5 in 1.5 milliseconds. Period.

It’s probably a very good thing I’m not in charge of the button for the nukes … but I’m nice 99.7% of the time unless you give me a reason not to be nice. Scouts honour.

I’ve been dealing with someone who annoys me beyond measure. Dr Kim has told me that I need to “box-out” people who bring about stress in my life, but unfortunately — you just cannot box everyone out because you have to see them way too often.  I’ve made a really good effort, but I’ve not been successful. And now, they’ve crossed a line that should have never been crossed.

I’ve tried to play nice, but I don’t think it’s in this persons nature to be nice – you know, go above and beyond for anyone else besides themselves.  I think there’s an attempt to make me “look bad” in front of people … it’ll never happen. I’m not the person with the cracks forming in the façade of a ‘world’ they’ve crafted to appear real.  And if that’s the way they want it … I say: You wanna dance? Bring it.

It’s like the old adage goes … If you play with fire, you’re going to get burned.  Consider me the fire.

And that’s about all I have to say about that.

So, there was a remake of the 1978 thriller Coma by Ridley Scott and his late brother, Tony Scott.  I admire the various titles in their long careers and so, I was excited and I TiVOed it — so, I could watch the four hours without any and all  interruption.

I was beyond disappointed because for all of the technology and heavy hitters in the movie — it flat lined almost immediately and put me straight into a coma. 😦  Disappointed doesn’t even cover the movie and I’ve no motivation to talk about it anymore.  For the record, the 1978 release is much better … in my – humble – opinion.

My Alma-mater did a number on Murray State last weekend.  Was I happy?  Yes, but I hate it when your team really has no choice but to score if it’s there.  Are your eyebrows scrunched up in the questioning look?  I just hate that the final score was such a blow-out 69-3, but it does seem to signal that my Seminoles are seemingly back to their old ways.

And this weekend will be no different with Savannah State. Not that Wake Forest should be overlooked, but I’m waiting for Clemson to come to Doak Campbell. I’m ready to watch my Noles unleash their full potential on the Tigers.  The first two games are mere scrimmages – testing out our lines and everything we’ve got, but not really bringing out the heavy artillery until we have to let it show. This boy bleeds GARNET & GOLD baby! SCALP’EM NOLES!

Speaking of heavy artillery, I finally caught up with the movie Battleship.  It started out a little slow, but once it got going – it got going.  I can understand why it didn’t completely dominate the box office though.  Although the action was there – it wasn’t as intense as I had hoped it would be — in other words: it wasn’t on pace for a movie like this one.  I liked the storyline and well, I didn’t hate it … because I did enjoy the battle sequences and genius of using ‘Mighty-Mo’ toward the end. 🙂

29 December 2010 is a day that I’ll never forget.  It’s the day we lost Little Rob to a shooting. It was ruled an accidental death within 36 hours, but our family never felt like it was correctly or fully investigated.

Yesterday, after 20 long months, a judge ruled that the case would be re-opened and investigated.  My cousin Rob and his wife, Veronica have had to go through what no parents should have to go through and finally a judge agreed that the case needs to be investigated further.

All I can say is that there should be a law in every, single state that holds parents accountable for their weapons not being locked up and kept out of the hands of children under the age of 18.  Of course anyone who has lost a family member is biased about them; however, Little Rob was an absolutely incredible young man — he was loved by his many friends, his family — he just was an incredible kid.

We miss him more than words can express, but I’m hopeful that this investigation will hold his ‘friend’ responsible for his death. If you pray — please pray for our family – especially Little Rob’s parents, his grandparents, siblings, Aunts and Uncles, cousins … we truly need it.

And now, it’s time for my weekend to officially begin … I’ve got a ton of things I need to accomplish and well, I’m going to get to it! I hope that everyone has an absolutely fantastic weekend! 🙂

Peace,