Reflections when you’re wide awake …


If there is a draw back to the digital age of music … it’s that we can pick and choose what tracks we want off a new album without, well – you know,  purchasing the entire album.

It doesn’t happen often, but there’s always that one song you never heard and when you hear it – it immediately becomes an instant epiphany.  And that’s the case with the song Wide Awake by Katy Perry.

This song … I’m not even sure I can even translate what I’m thinking, feeling, understanding …

I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I’m wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong?
I’m wide awake
And now it’s clear to me
That everything you see
Ain’t always what it seems
I’m wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

I’m wide awake
Not losing any sleep
I picked up every piece
And landed on my feet
I’m wide awake
Need nothing to complete myself, no

I’m wide awake
Yeah, I am born again
Out of the lion’s den
I don’t have to pretend
And it’s too late
The story’s over now, the end

I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn’t dive in
Wouldn’t bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
‘Til I woke up on
On the concrete

Falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue)
I’m crashing from the high
I’m letting go tonight (yeah, I’m letting you go)
I’m falling from cloud 9

I’m wide awake
Thunder rumbling
Castles crumbling
I’m wide awake
I am trying to hold on
I’m wide awake
God knows that I tried
Seeing the bright side
I’m wide awake
But I’m not blind anymore…

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake

Yeah, I’m falling from cloud 9 (it was out of the blue)
I’m crashing from the high
You know I’m letting go tonight (yeah, I’m letting you go)
I’m falling from cloud 9

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake

And of course, if just reading the lyrics weren’t enough … try listening to it here:

Of course my connection with this song is the entire premise of what it’s like to wake up and finally begin to realise where you have been and where you want to go. 🙂

Part of this journey has been dealing with the past where people used me in various ways and I think I actually carry scars from being asked to be the alibi for people I thought were my friends — and ultimately when the chips fell and I needed support — they were no longer there for me.

I’m with Carrie Bradshaw on the “can you truly forgive if you can’t forget” train for situations like that!  No matter what, I am in a better place now and know who to give my love, trust and loyalty to in my life!

The journey to happiness continues and it gets better and better every single day … because I’m getting better with understanding that not everyone has to go on the journey with me! 🙂

This past weekend, I flew to NY for the weekend and had the chance to have a great time with my friends there, but also witnessing the damage to many parts of the city and its Burroughs.

I never went to Staten Island but did make it to Rockaway Beach in Queens and was overwhelmed by what I saw.  It is truly amazing – and not in a good way – to view the power of nature and its effect upon communities. 😦

I had the chance to visit, again, the 9/11 Memorial in Lower Manhattan and this time … it wasn’t crowded and it – even now – still seems surreal to me that the Twin Towers are forever gone.

I don’t think anyone who ever visited NY pre-9/11 could ever truly understand what is no longer there.  😦   I will never grow tired with NY as there are and will always be new adventures there when I return. 🙂

The Nole Nation had dreams at the start of marching, unstopped, into the BCS National Championship game; however, some beyond frustrating and RIDICULOUS play calling against N.C. State flung the Seminoles out of the race.  I could go on and on about Jimbo Fisher; however, I’m not wasting anymore time complaining about his bi-polar play calling in games that MATTER.

What I am happy about and I know the players are happy about … a 9-1 record.  That record is a true testament to the fact that FSU has experienced and seemingly (hopefully) understand adversity and how to take it by the horns and sling it to the wayside.

That’s just what happened at Virginia Tech on a cold Thursday night.  And yes, for the record let me state just how much I detest and HATE Thursday night games — FSU has never fared well … until recently. 🙂 Down 22-20 with 2.19 left to go, EJ Manuel orchestrated a 52-yard game winning drive.

A drive not punctuated with one RUNNING PLAY  – that had failed ALL BLOODY NIGHT LONG and yet, Jimbo Fisher just couldn’t seem to get it.  Perhaps that’s his problem — he comes in with one plan and one plan only … I’ve never coached, but I’m smart enough to know if you’ve got -15 yards in total rushing (and you’ve had a pretty phenomenal running game all season UNTIL this game) that you don’t keep going to it … over and over and over and over again. Note my frustration.

So, I credit the win over Virginia Tech solely to EJ Manuel who simply did what he knows how to do: lead his team down the field.  Of course, now, the media is calling Maryland’s defense one that should not be overlooked and well, it is a road game.

So, let’s hope Jimbo has more than one game plan just in case FSU’s running game is put on ice and of course, let’s all take note — listen up Jimbo … gotta win this one to make to Charlotte on 1 December for the ACC Championship and of course, there’s the little rivalry game coming to Tallahassee … although they think (the Gators) they’re going to come in and just and I quote, “demolish FSU” … LOL. 😛

And in the Middle East, Israel has finally had enough of the daily Hamas rocket bombardment and has struck hard at the heart of Hamas.  Many people shy away from this topic; however, I’m not one them.   If a line is to be drawn in the sand, then it’s quite easy for me to choose a side … the loss of any human life in this conflict is tragic; however, Israel has a right to defend themselves from the daily assaults of Hamas. Period.

President Anwar Sadat’s words, in 1979, to the new found peace between Egypt and Israel still carry great value even today:

“Let there be no more wars or bloodshed between Arabs and Israelis—let there be no more wars or bloodshed between Arabs and Israelis. Let there be no more suffering or denial of rights. Let there be no more despair or loss of faith. Let no mother lament the loss of her child. Let no young man waste his life on a conflict from which no one benefits. Let us work together until the day comes when they beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. And God does call to the abode of peace. He does guide whom He pleases to His way.”
I’ve been so busy that I’ve really not been watching any telly; however, it’s all waiting for me on TiVO and of course, I’ve a week to catch up, up, up! 🙂  I hope everyone has a great weekend … I know I’ll have a great weekend because I’m going to do absolutely NOTHING. 🙂  I’m sure I’ll be posting more this week as I’ll not be “working” … No jealousy, please! 🙂
Shalom,