They say time heals all wounds …


6ac8b2ca22ab59fb413512c8a397ef4aI’ve been off the grid … I’m still mourning the loss of my little angel, Nica.  I knew she was an important part of my life, but I never truly understood just how important until she was gone.  People who have never committed themselves to their pet 110% really couldn’t understand the void left when they leave you.

My love affair with Nica started on day 57 of her life and it didn’t end the day she left me — 13 years, 4 months and 19 days — either.  I loved her greatly whilst she was here, but I love her even more now than I did then.  I’ve utilised many distractions to deal with her being gone — with my ‘work’ being one of them; however – home is a completely different story.

My morning, evening and night routines are all screwed up.  Why?  Nica was an integral part of all three of those each day … I know I’m not going to get over her quickly nor will she ever be replaced.  She couldn’t be replaced — she was one in a bajillion.

I just hope that I did everything that I could do when I knew something was wrong … I did everything within my power, but it wasn’t enough.  And I think that’s why it’s so hard for me to move even an inch forward.  I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even talk about her around friends any more.  I just don’t think they want to hear about it.  And that’s okay – because they all still ask – here and there – how I am and that matters in so many ways.

So many of you who follow have messaged me … I know that you don’t even know me personally; however, that speaks volumes about the fact there is still compassion in this world — even amongst strangers.  I appreciate your kindness – it helps. Truly, it does.

So, I’m going to make a commitment to being back on track with my blog for 2014.  And of course, I’m going to try even before we get there.  They say time heals all wounds, but for now – this wound is deep and I cannot guess how long it will take.

To all of you … here’s to the true spirit of Christmas – love.  I’m wishing you all of the good things that Christmas can bring.

Peace –

Bryce

By the Grace of God …


katy-perry-billboard-cover-story-ryan-mcginley-650-430

Thank you, Katy for sharing your pain and your resolution …

“By The Grace Of God”

Was 27 surviving my return of Saturn
A long vacation didn’t sound so bad
Was full of secrets locked up tight like iron mountain
Running on empty so out of gas

Thought I wasn’t enough
Found I wasn’t so tough
Layin’ on the bathroom floor
We were living on a fault line
And I felt the fault was all mine
Couldn’t take it anymore

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way

I thank my sister for keeping my head above the water
When the truth was like swallowing sand
Now every morning, there is no more mourning
Oh, I can finally see myself again

I know I am enough
Possible to be loved
It was not about me
Now I have to rise above
Let the universe call the bluff
Yeah, the truth’ll set you free

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me out, oh, that way,
No, that way, no
Not in the name of love
In the name of love
That way, no,
That way, no
I am not giving up

By the grace of God
I picked myself back up
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror (looked in the mirror)
Looked in the mirror (looked in the mirror)

By the grace of God (there was no other way)
I picked myself back up (I knew I had to stay)
I put one foot in front of the other
And I looked in the mirror and decided to stay
Wasn’t gonna let love take me out that way.
– Katy Perry, By the Grace of God, PRISM

This is my song right now … but I have to thank my family for keeping my head above the water … when you lose something so important in your life … you become instantly lost and hope fades quickly like the setting sun; however, when you have people in your life who you know love you and understand what you’re going through … you will get that hope back.

If you’re going through it … pick up Katy’s new album — trust me, you’ll find some release there … I have never fallen in love with any album so quick as I have with this one.  Every song has purpose and takes you through her journey — the same journey many of us have been on.

No, I don’t work for Katy, but I know passion, truth and perseverance when I see and hear it.

Life has been hard for the past few weeks after losing one of the most important things to me … but it will take time and I will never be over losing my baby, Nica. Never.

Life is so much more than what we are seeing right now …

I will be back on a regular basis now that I’ve found my way again.  Thanks to all of you who’ve emailed, texted, called to check up on me … your kindness shows that humanity is not as far gone as some believe.

I send you my love and peace …

Shalom,

Bryce