I wanted off the roller coaster.


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The finality of my grandmum’s death arrived last week. The emotions I had but could not express completely when she passed – came in the form of an emotional hurricane.

The human mind is incredibly complex as I’m sure most people are well aware.  My mind, in an effort to protect me, subdued me at that most vulnerable time and I’m not sure I’m thankful or not … it seems irrational for me to have had my complete and utter meltdown two months since her passing.

2013-05-11_1011Dr Carolle says that when we have a healthy emotional state, but our mental state is hazy — our psyche can do a great deal in order to protect us from having a complete breakdown. And this is just one example of that.

I don’t mind being emotional, but last week … oh, last week I knew that I wanted off the roller coaster.

I can report that the skies are blue and things are now calm … acceptance brings about great change. I’m still emotional when I think about her no longer being here, but it’s easier now than before.

So, although things have slowed from the previous weeks – things are still on fast-pace and I’m looking forward to the end of this month — I transition to summer and I’ll be able to make me a priority. 🙂

1elementaryI am absolutely, totally addicted to ELEMENTARY now.  I am absolutely loving how different writers perceive Sherlock Holmes in the modern world.  My other obsession is SHERLOCK on BBC.

I cannot get enough of either, but SHERLOCK is on hiatus whilst the two leading actors do other projects, but we’re being tempted with its return late this year or early 2014.

If you’ve not watched ELEMENTARY – it’s on CBS on Thursdays at 10 o’clock.  Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu are ideal for the roles, but I love the placement of Dr. Watson as a female character … innovative and quite brilliant if you ask me.

We’ve reached the point where Moriarty has arrived to unsettle Sherlock.  And of course, that means the end of the season … but fear not … MAJOR CRIMES, RIZZOLI & ISLES and FALLING SKIES return in a few weeks! 🙂

2012-07-08_0727Last Sunday was Nica’s birthday … she’s 13 now.  Which according to some people means that she’s actually 91.

I’d really love to know who or why someone or some group decided to sit down and debate that idea of 1 dog year = 7 human years. Seriously.

Anyway, she had her traditional birthday fare … a yellow cupcake with vanilla frosting, a plain hamburger from MickeyD’s, some french fries and a few ‘sips’ of Coke.  I raided PetSmart last week and bought her 15 new toys – which I might add were immediately strewn around the house and remain so. 🙂

People who don’t have dogs have no clue – they laugh at things such as this; however, aside from my parents, my cousin Heather, a few friends — Nica has been a constant source of unconditional love and she makes me smile and laugh frequently. 🙂

I’ve a few things to accomplish today and so, I’m cutting this short … I hope everyone reading has a great weekend! 🙂  And don’t forget to hold tight to yer mum’s — you’ve only got one and hopefully,  you’ve a great relationship! 🙂

xoxo –

Bryce

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Cause baby, I’m a firework …


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I’ve been away. Oh, you noticed. 🙂 As ‘witnessed’ by the number of emails I’ve received from many of you. I think I was able to post everyone back … life has a funny of way of throwing you for a loop. My journey back to my own, personal happiness … derailed for a bit, but I’m back on track albeit the sadness surrounding my grandmother.

I’m lucky, among few, to still have living grandparents … and this grandmum — she’s 92. Of course, so many people say, “Wow. At least she’s lived a good life.” Is that supposed to be some sort of consolation? This world scares me too death … the lack of humanity that exudes from the youngest generation makes me want to run away screaming like I’m on fire. ::: SMH :::

So, my grandmum has congestive heart failure — which means … it could come at any moment. We’ve had those “gather everyone together” moments … several times, but she has always managed to fight it off and defy the odds. I don’t know if I’m being selfish because I still want her here with us; however, I don’t want her to suffer and want her to go in her own time and on her own terms.

Therapy has – obviously – been quadrupled up because this isn’t something I’m ready to deal with – now or well, frankly: EVER. Yes, I’m one of those people. I know that the people that matter most to us have to go one day. That’s what my head says, but my heart – well, it feels differently. Thanks to my lovely therapist … this moment I’m going through right now is ‘easier’ because of clarity.

Today was one of my visits. She remembered me. She smiled at me. She told me that she loved me. And she waved at me whilst we were sitting in the silence … I waved back and smiled. Today had to be one of my most precious moments with her that I’ve ever had despite her barely speaking. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. There aren’t enough words in the English language to express what she means to me … how much I love her. So, for now … we wait for the inevitable. 😦

Aside from that, I’ve been going pretty well … just extremely busy with work and yes, it has simply become work. Whenever others think something is a good idea, but don’t have to do it themselves … well, it becomes work. Of course, I’ve decided that I’ll not be working outside the confines of my work day anymore. Period. And this makes me smile, smile, smile … all the time because it’s the best kind of ‘revenge’!

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So, I just watched Katy Perry – Part of Me … it reaffirmed why I love this girl so much. We’re totally on the same page … in utterly a bajillion ways. And her lyrics … well, they breathe life into me … and make me contemplate life on a broader scope.

And what I didn’t know was that during the filming of this project was when Russell Brand filed for divorce. He was: heartless, thoughtless, selfish and well, an asshole.

Probably the song I love the best – and let’s face it that’s a hard choice to make – is FIREWORK … if you’ve not heard it — take a listen below and if you’ve heard it — listen again — it NEVER gets old … right now this is my theme song – it’s helping me remember that no matter what might be going on … I’m a firework. 🙂

 

And of course, you might be wondering what I’m watching on telly now …

the-carrie-diaries-13-1024x768Yes, I am watching it … why wouldn’t I give it a chance? I’m a certified Sex and the City (SATC) fan and I have to say that it’s more than I expected. Plus, if you’re a Doctor Who or Torchwood fan — you have to watch it to just see what Freema Agyeman brings to the show.

So far, I’m not disappointed. Of course, there’s one annoying character and that’s Carrie’s little sister … who, thankfully, we never had to see or endure in SATC. 🙂

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And well, where have I been … I got sucked into Downton Abbey during the middle of S2 via PBS. So far, I’ve enjoyed every single millisecond of the show — and Maggie Smith — well, she’s not the nicest character and it’s nice to see her … snippy side.

Of course, just like any show — it has its tear-jerking moments and of course the attempts of bring the 21st Century back a century to explore issues that were – most definitely – not acceptable … at all.

Arrow-Tv-Series-Main-Character-HD-Wallpaper_Vvallpaper.NetAnd then, there’s Arrow. I’m still hanging in there with this one … although, I think it might not survive — just The Secret Circle didn’t survive last year. 😦 The premise of the show is great, but I’m not sure the writers are always able to pull it off. Some of the casting is brilliant whilst some of it — well, makes you wonder — how did that person land the role. I’m hoping it survives.

And that’s it for now … yes, I’m back at least once a week … if not more. 🙂 I’ve always got something to say – like it or not. I hope everyone has a great week … in two weeks I’ll be on another holiday — yes, you heard it — another holiday! 😉

Shalom,

Bryce

 

 

 

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