I’ve been away. Oh, you noticed. 🙂 As ‘witnessed’ by the number of emails I’ve received from many of you. I think I was able to post everyone back … life has a funny of way of throwing you for a loop. My journey back to my own, personal happiness … derailed for a bit, but I’m back on track albeit the sadness surrounding my grandmother.
I’m lucky, among few, to still have living grandparents … and this grandmum — she’s 92. Of course, so many people say, “Wow. At least she’s lived a good life.” Is that supposed to be some sort of consolation? This world scares me too death … the lack of humanity that exudes from the youngest generation makes me want to run away screaming like I’m on fire. ::: SMH :::
So, my grandmum has congestive heart failure — which means … it could come at any moment. We’ve had those “gather everyone together” moments … several times, but she has always managed to fight it off and defy the odds. I don’t know if I’m being selfish because I still want her here with us; however, I don’t want her to suffer and want her to go in her own time and on her own terms.
Therapy has – obviously – been quadrupled up because this isn’t something I’m ready to deal with – now or well, frankly: EVER. Yes, I’m one of those people. I know that the people that matter most to us have to go one day. That’s what my head says, but my heart – well, it feels differently. Thanks to my lovely therapist … this moment I’m going through right now is ‘easier’ because of clarity.
Today was one of my visits. She remembered me. She smiled at me. She told me that she loved me. And she waved at me whilst we were sitting in the silence … I waved back and smiled. Today had to be one of my most precious moments with her that I’ve ever had despite her barely speaking. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. There aren’t enough words in the English language to express what she means to me … how much I love her. So, for now … we wait for the inevitable. 😦
Aside from that, I’ve been going pretty well … just extremely busy with work and yes, it has simply become work. Whenever others think something is a good idea, but don’t have to do it themselves … well, it becomes work. Of course, I’ve decided that I’ll not be working outside the confines of my work day anymore. Period. And this makes me smile, smile, smile … all the time because it’s the best kind of ‘revenge’!
So, I just watched Katy Perry – Part of Me … it reaffirmed why I love this girl so much. We’re totally on the same page … in utterly a bajillion ways. And her lyrics … well, they breathe life into me … and make me contemplate life on a broader scope.
And what I didn’t know was that during the filming of this project was when Russell Brand filed for divorce. He was: heartless, thoughtless, selfish and well, an asshole.
Probably the song I love the best – and let’s face it that’s a hard choice to make – is FIREWORK … if you’ve not heard it — take a listen below and if you’ve heard it — listen again — it NEVER gets old … right now this is my theme song – it’s helping me remember that no matter what might be going on … I’m a firework. 🙂
And of course, you might be wondering what I’m watching on telly now …
Yes, I am watching it … why wouldn’t I give it a chance? I’m a certified Sex and the City (SATC) fan and I have to say that it’s more than I expected. Plus, if you’re a Doctor Who or Torchwood fan — you have to watch it to just see what Freema Agyeman brings to the show.
So far, I’m not disappointed. Of course, there’s one annoying character and that’s Carrie’s little sister … who, thankfully, we never had to see or endure in SATC. 🙂
And well, where have I been … I got sucked into Downton Abbey during the middle of S2 via PBS. So far, I’ve enjoyed every single millisecond of the show — and Maggie Smith — well, she’s not the nicest character and it’s nice to see her … snippy side.
Of course, just like any show — it has its tear-jerking moments and of course the attempts of bring the 21st Century back a century to explore issues that were – most definitely – not acceptable … at all.
And then, there’s Arrow. I’m still hanging in there with this one … although, I think it might not survive — just The Secret Circle didn’t survive last year. 😦 The premise of the show is great, but I’m not sure the writers are always able to pull it off. Some of the casting is brilliant whilst some of it — well, makes you wonder — how did that person land the role. I’m hoping it survives.
And that’s it for now … yes, I’m back at least once a week … if not more. 🙂 I’ve always got something to say – like it or not. I hope everyone has a great week … in two weeks I’ll be on another holiday — yes, you heard it — another holiday! 😉